Caution parents: High lead levels in bouncy houses

Toxic bouncy house tested--40 x federal limit for toxic lead!!

Check out this article on high levels of heavy metals (exceeding state/federal limits).

Our group will soon be discussing this topic with an emphasis on a different front–focusing on corporate globalization, environment in communities of color, the global south, etc.  Hopefully, we’ll remember to post a summary of that discussion here.

Birth Defects in Iraq

Ever since I learned of this, it has troubled me.  Imagine being told NOT to have a baby because of the chances of birth defects are just too high.  This is what women are told in Fallujah.  In the article below, it is cited as 24% of all babies in Iraq to have birth defects.  As a mama, I just can’t stomach this.  The cause of all this is the chemical weapons US military used in Iraq, especially in Fallujah, the “defiant” city.  Another article I read stated that the only “weapons of mass destruction” in Iraq were the ones that the US military used.

This type of inhumane legacy of war lives on, literally.  Birth defects effect families for generations, not to mention cancer and other milder illnesses caused by the chemical weapons.  And the toxins that have seeped into the ground will take generations to disappear while the food that grows from it will be contaminated.

Since becoming a mama, issues like these are even more pertinent to me as I strive to stay informed about this world and better equipped to raise my family in it.  The article below is a simple one.  Others I’ve read had more graphic details and pictures.  Please read and stay informed.

http://www.presstv.ir/detail/139684.html

Green Mothering and Mother Earth!

Being a mother has forever changed my views on practically everything.  My priorities have shifted… one of the things I strive to instill in my kids is to live a life that is respectful to our environment and each other. When I was still pregnant with my firstborn, I started to eat more organic foods and paid more attention to how I lived my life… simplifying…reducing… and cutting out things in my life that were no longer useful or beneficial to my well being.

While the goal was to live a green live style, the reality was that with the cost of living so high, its pretty damn hard to, even with all the intention. But we must, because the future generations depend on it.

I think about the current oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, and how much destruction that is causing on the second to second, minute by minutes, days by days, and already months to months of oil that is gushing out into the waters. How can this being happening with so much technology and “intelligence” that humans have to plug up a pipe.

I think about all the things that we are doing to contribute to the destruction of Mother Earth, but I also can’t help to think about all the ways we can do something to be kind to Mother Earth.

I started to remind myself that we can do small things each day… that big things start small.

Here are a few things you can also do to be GREEN:

- Bring canvas bags to the grocery store or when you’re shopping

- Support local organic farmers and farmer’s markets

- Drive less, walk more

- Support Green businesses

- Recycle, Reuse and Reduce!

- Drive a hybrid or an electric car

- Inspire kids to love nature

- Inspire others to be more green!

These are also reminders for myself to be green, and hoping to lead by example.

Don’t Buy-in to the Diaper-Industrial Complex!

Okay, so I’m sorta joking, sorta not.  There are so many things I can say about the Diaper-Industrial Complex (fittingly abbreviated here as DIC), but since it’s potty training time for Soluna, I’ll work that angle. The DIC makes tons and tons of money off your baby/toddler poop. They continue to create more expensive pull-ups in bigger and bigger sizes while convincing tons of mamas and doctors that if you push your kid too early in potty training you’re in for trouble.

After many talks with the Colorful Mamas and some online research I learned that the majority of kids in Eastern Europe, Asia, South America and Africa finish potty training shortly after they learn to walk.   Contemporary Pediatrics magazine says that 50% of the world’s children are potty trained BEFORE the age of 1. But, the average age of potty training for American kids today is 39 months for boys and 35 months for girls. In the 1940s it was 18 months and this was right before washing machines became more common to help clean cloth diapers and RIGHT before disposable diapers came onto the market.

Interestingly, waiting to potty train could cost anywhere between $2000-$6000 to buy diapers for 2.5 years. Disposable diapers create numerous environmental problems. Waiting to potty train may make it more difficult to train kids as they become more independent and go into those “terrible” 2s and 3s.

So my husband and I stopped procrastinating and decided to get Soluna potty trained before her 2nd birthday and aren’t we glad we did!  We honestly should have started earlier!

I got some great advice from the other ColorfulMamas that I have included here about diaperless potty-training. Basically, by diaperless potty-training I mean, just losing the diapers and getting to business. Some mamas and papas stay home with their kids for a few days, leaving kids without a diaper at home, often bottomless. (We couldn’t do this for too long, because I was getting antsy.) Once they see their kid peeing and/or pooing they immediately take them to the closest bathroom or potty and have them sit down. It usually only takes a few days and the kid gets the hint, discovers whatever muscle they need to hold their pee and poo, and begins letting you know they need to go… And WALA! The kid is potty trained. Okay, so it’s not that easy and everyone does it different. Other ColorfulMamas have used other methods including EC (Elimination Communication), beginning potty training at infancy. They’ll have to write about their experiences.

Since Soluna is doing GREAT, hasn’t had any big accidents for over a week and we began about three weeks ago, I decided to compile all the great tips I got from different ColorfulMamas who did diaperless potty training when their babes were around 2 years old and it took anywhere from 9 days - 1 month to get their kids trained.

TIPS FOR DIAPERLESS POTTY TRAINING

BRING LOTS OF EXTRA PANTS AND UNDERWEAR – In your purse, car, stroller, etc.

HAVE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND – When you are training at, plan to have people around that can help and can also break the monotony of going to the potty every 15 minutes.

REMINDERS – In the beginning ask every 15 minutes or so if they want to potty, and still take him/her every 30 minutes or so when you’re out. Keep reminding them even if you think they are fully potty trained, because they get “busy” and don’t want to go. This is when accidents happen

WATCH OUT FOR WATERMELON AND LIQUIDS – especially right before going out or while you’re out.  Watermelon and other liquids will usually lead to kids having to pee a lot and very suddenly. 

BE PATIENT – Kids go through a lot of regression because of a lot of different reasons, so be patient. 

MAKE BATHROOM TOT-FRIENDLY  – Get your babes to the stage where they go by themselves FULLY and do this by making your bathroom tot-friendly.  Kids can eventually go all alone with no prompting. They can get on the footstool, grab the toilet seat cover, pee, flush and wash hands. 

BOOKS BY THE TOILET - To help kids stay on the potty longer, try putting a little table with a book to read close by. 

SLEEP NEAR BABY-  Talk to your baby when he/she peed at night and tell them to let you know. Kids might squirm in bed, half asleep, when they have to urinate. Just take them to the bathroom. 

PORTABLE POTTY SEATS – Helps kids with those big toilets.

PLACE KIDS ON THE SIDE OF TOILET - Sometimes it’s easier to place them on the side of the toilet rather than the front.

ELASTIC PANTS – If you don’t use elastic, you’re just asking for an accident.

THE EARLIER THE BETTER – They’re ready before you’re ready.

Good luck mamas!

Uprooted! Families of Color and the Housing Crisis

About 2 1/2 years ago, Benji and I were getting married. We were also at a time, place and mood in our life when planting seeds and growing roots in a community we cared about was a priority. We hoped to start a family and we liked Oakland. 

We could not afford to live in the Bay View/Hunter’s Point or Pleasanton, where he and I grew up. So we bought a modest Oakland home: a 1912 bungalow, 2 bedrooms/1 bath, small but cute backyard, okay neighborhood on the edge of not as safe ones. We knew the price of our home might fluctuate at times, but we told ourselves we were in it for the long haul and assumed the two of us would always work full-time. We got a fixed-rate loan, stretched ourselves a bit, but were hopeful.

What we didn’t anticipate was that our house would lose over 25% of its value before our second year and that mamahood would change me so much.  I no longer wanted to rush back to work after 2 months of maternity leave and it just didn’t feel right to me or him to leave little Soluna full-time.  Without two full-time workers in the family, money has become very, very tight. And now like many fairly new homeowners (or refinancers) across the country, we are following the housing crisis and Obama’s economic policies with many questions on our minds and critical family financial decisions on the horizon:

Is it actually a more financially sound decision to foreclose? Will we regret not doing so in 3 years or 5 years? How long will it actually take for our loan to be ”above water?”  Will loan companies even consider talking to us about negotiating our loan?

What gets forgotten in all this housing crisis buzz is that many of the folks asking these questions or don’t even have the luxury of asking these questions and have already been uprooted are families of color, immigrant families and low-income families.  (Even my parents are considering walking away from their home of almost 20 years.) Some facts:

• The Federal Reserve released a study in 2007 that found 52.8 percent of African-Americans got a high-cost home loan when they refinanced in 2006, compared to 37.7 percent of Latinos and just 25.7 percent of whites in the same year.*
• One Fanie Mae study found that 50 percent of all borrowers qualified for a cheaper loan than the one they eventually got. They even discovered that female buyers tend to get higher-cost loans than male counterparts.*
• United for a Fair Economy also estimates that the total loss of wealth for people of color will be between $164 billion and $213 billion for subprime loans taken during the past eight years, the greatest loss of wealth for people of color in modern US history.* 

What it comes down to is that people of color, immigrants, and poor people were targeted and taken advantage of… exploited for their pursuit of their “American Dream.” Our communities and families are going to continue to feel the effects as we lose our homes and neighborhoods transform. Homes throughout Oakland are sitting vacant, businesses are closing and it feels like crime is on the rise. Will the Stimulus Package and Foreclosure Relief help our communities and families re-build so that our children can grow in communities and homes they deserve? Maybe.  Will City of Oakland leaders and politicians find creative solutions to keep families in Oakland and in their homes? I really doubt it. So what now?

Soluna’s homecoming (Christmas Day 2007):

Israel Bombings in Gaza; why it matters to me as a mama

I woke up this morning worrying about Majid’s cold.  A little pang of agony is felt every time he coughs – he obviously sounds uncomfortable.  But then my husband told me that Israel dropped 100+ bombs on Gaza while we were sleeping and that the attacks were still ongoing; over 200 people dead, hundreds more wounded.  My heart dropped.  Is it not enough that Israel’s now 18 month old blockade has created even more inhumane situations over there?  Israel stopped food and medical supplies from entering this region so people are dying from malnutrition and lack of medical attention forced upon them by the Israelis.

Before having Majid, news about the Palestinian and Israel conflict effected me as a person concerned about justice.  But now, it impacts me as a mother and I think about the mothers who have lost babies today.  The bombs dropped during the time when school gets out so you can imagine the panic this created.  I think about raising children without the certainty that they’ll get home safely from school or that you can feed them once they do return.  This is quite different when such conditions are brutally forced upon you by another state power and not b/c of broader socio-economic reasons.  This is military conflict and Palestinians are fighting for survival with stones as their weapons, literally, while Israel is attacking with U.S. provided top-grade weapons and fighter jets.  Is there a slight unbalance here?

As a mom, I think about what it means that our son was born in these times.  I saw pictures of Arab women protesting this attack, some with tears in their eyes.  I’m sure many are mothers who feel this like I do in some ways, as a momma whose heart aches over the lives lost and the insanities of this world that our children must face someday.  I wonder how my husband will explain this conflict to our children.  I wonder how Palestinian parents talk about their plight to their babies.  And what about the Israeli children who watch the bombings and cheer with their parents?  Let’s be clear here about the power dynamics and recognize that you cannot put Israel on parallel with Palestine b/c one is the colonizer/oppresser and the other is the colonized/oppressed.  I think of Paulo Freire and his claim that the oppresser is not fully human b/c ultimately, you cannot commit such inhumane acts and be human.

I’m praying for the Palestinians that they prevail in some way, some how, especially the moms; as in all armed conflict, the mamas, the women, are left to carry on when the men are gone to fight or are injured or dead.  Israel doesn’t need my prayers since they have the full support of George Bush and Barack Obama; oh, and the american evangelicals.

For more info:  http://electronicintifada.net/new.shtml

To hear from a Palestinian mama:  http://a-mother-from-gaza.blogspot.com/

Majid Umma

Added April 3, 2009: When a pregnant womsn and a grieving mother are viewed as appealing targets of a sniper, I think other mamas should be made aware, especially if they are socially, politically concerned.  Israeli soldiers have printed shirts w/rifle aim marks at pregnant Palestinian woman with the description, “1 shot, 2 kills”.  Also, one with a Palestinian mother weeping at her child’s grave – “Better Use Durex (condom)”.  Many other sick & disturbing t-shirts designs from this “moral” army.  Read more.

Raising Majid in this Imperialist Land, Part 1

This topic is in the forefront – or at least in the background but never gone – of my mind as I make decisions about raising my first born, Majid.  A little about Majid — he is the sweetest baby I’ve ever met; I could not have dreamt of having a child like this.  He is full of kisses and smiles and giggles and bounces as he walks.  He is a truly wondrous and treasured 20 month old bebe.

Even before Majid was born and before I was married, I used think, “How could I raise a child in this crazy world?”  Then I met my husband and realized that it can, indeed, be done.  So what does it mean to raise our son in this country, the current title holder of top imperialist?  Well, for one, I have to be concerned about how NOT to raise this kid to be american. This is quite a task.  Acculturation happens so easily and innocently.  As much as we can, we are attempting to ensure that Majid does not have the world view of an american and that his cultural & historical association and references reflect his roots and ancestry, not his citizenship.  I’m definitely not trying to have my son grow up to be some arrogant, ignorant fool chanting “USA” and scaring people.

Also, I have to be concerned that he is not damaged by living here.  This means I have to prepare him for the inevitable day when he’s called a terrorist or told to go back home or or or…His Arabic name will surely be picked on but that’s easy to handle in comparison to explaining the deplorable depiction of Arabs in the media or why the U.S. wages war on Muslims worldwide.

This here is a list of “Survival Tools for Living in an Imperialist Country” that I’m trying to pass onto Majid:

1. Feeling comfortable and confident in his Algerian/Corean self (this would include speaking the languages, knowing the culture, staying connected with his family, visiting homeland, etc.).
2. Understanding colonialism, imperialism, post-colonialism, and neoliberalism as early as possible.  Hmm, where should he start?  Japanese colonialism ? (Corea was one of the countries that endured Japan’s horrific colonial reign.)  French colonialism? (Algeria was a crown of the French colonies until they got their asses whooped by good old guerrilla warfare – no one did it like the Algerians!)  Or U.S. imperialism? (Well, he was born here and south Corea is basically a U.S. subject.)
3. Reading and comprehending Biko, Cesaire, Fanon and Freire as early as possible (who knew these anti-colonial figures would help raise my children?).  Other figures will soon follow.
4. Being grounded in your faith.  Really, I cannot front like I manage by myself or that Majid is as good as he is b/c of his parents alone.  I pray for my family and this world and I organize for justice b/c I feel that it’s my religious, as well as intellectual and human, responsibility. I know that no matter what, God will watch over my baby.  I hope Majid has unmoving faith in God.
5. Stay close to and be good to your family.  Even when we don’t like them, I feel we gotta be close to our kins b/c making a better world starts with the family.  This doesn’t mean all is good but that your continual effort at loving them allows you to also know how to spread that love.
6. Nature – enjoy it, learn about it, take it in as much as possible.  One of the advantages of living in this imperialist land is being able to enjoy the breakth-takingly magnificient natural landscapes.  Majid already loves it!  But wherever you are, fighting neoliberalism can be absolutely draining and nature is the antedote and re-energizer and so, is a must.
7. Continuing to strengthen and protect Majid’s heart of gold.  Majid is very, very kind-hearted.  When he sees other children cry, he says “ayaya” in Corean, which means something is hurt, and looks sadly at them for a while and wants to go soothe them.  He looks at homeless people in the streets of San Francisco and you can tell he doesn’t understand; something is not right to him.  In order for Majid to deal with the insanity of this world and live here, where so much of the insanity comes from, I believe that Majid’s heart of gold needs to get stronger so that it is not easily trampled on and can withstand the blows.  My strategy for this?  Lots and lots of love so that good will always outweigh the bad.

More to come later…

Majid Umma

Presidente Barack Hussein Obama – Orale!

It is definitely a new day and I could not be more grateful for the opportunity to live and mother in this historical period of global transition. The selection of this Black man as the president of the USA has forced me into deep reflection about family, history, mass movement, and human liberation. For one, it took much patience and convincing for me to vote democrat. My radical politics had my heart set on checking the box for Green Party nominees Cynthia McKinney and Rosa Clemente because they were the closest aligned with my personal politics and vision. This Black and Brown team of women were made invisible during this election, but they too made history by being the first non-white women candidates for the most powerful political positions of this country. Yet, I could not turn away from the opportunity to be part of history by voting for a man who would topple the last symbol of institutional white supremacy. His win is a symbol of power for many generations to come.

Plus I have to give much props to the man, he has a mouthpiece that can move the human spirit. He has the gift of giving life to words. The power of la Palabra (the word) has proved to be the real winner in this campaign.  My elders teach that Palabra is one of the most powerful of all creations by humans. La Pabalabra has a life of its own, once spoken. It can destroy as much as it can heal or create. Plus, it can live forever if and when it is passed on from one mouth and one generation to the next. Proving the power of storytelling amongst our families and nations.

Now we have a collective story of our own to share and pass on to our babies. Many who carry non-conforming, non-European names. I heard in a radio interview that in his road to adulthood he chose to use and formalize Barack Hussein Obama as his name. Growing up in a predominant white family, he was given a European surname, which he carried for most of his life. The fact that Obama made a conscious decision to own and connect to a family and historical lineage through his name, is profound and validating. It is for this very reason that my daughter was given and carries an Indigenous, Nahuatl name of Xitlalmina.

I don’t expect much politically from Obama with the current social and economic conditions that he has inherited from Bush, the Democratic Party that he belongs to, and because of the fact that by being Black, he will be picked on, critiqued and threaten for any left-leaning decisions made while in office. However, the national and global paradigm has officially shifted. The impossible has happened, a Black man is the president of a country founded on Indigenous genocide and Black slavery. The oppressed, invisible, disengaged and silent majority (that can legally vote) has spoken and confirmed that together, we are not a political minority. The line has been drawn and crossed.

All of this also confirms that we have hella work to do with our communities and within our families. They cannot be fooled into believing that all will be solved by this one man, this one symbol, this one win. They cannot fall into the lie that racism doesn’t exist and that the fight for social justice is over. I know that the internalized and interpersonal oppression that plays out in my community through violence, abuse, self-degradation, broken families and much more will continue. I know that institutional oppression will perpetuate the status quo, and that the agenda of war and corporate interest will continue to dominate.

Despite all that, I am hopeful and reenergized in my commitment to organize, to empower young people, to fight for my community, and to honor my ancestors. Most importantly, I can’t wait to talk about this moment in time with my daughter. We will continue to dream and talk about a day far into the future when oppression will seize, when we will live in balance with the Earth, in peace with other beings, and in harmony with the universe. I know this sounds crazy, but Barack Hussein Obama won the presidency, and a girl should always dream.

Tlazokomati, thank you Yaocihuatl for inspiring me to write this piece. Hasta La Victoria!

Props to Baba/Papa/Abba!

Welcome to my first blog post!  I had a few options for this new adventure but decided that writing about my husband was most appropriate.  As I write, it is past 9pm and I’m waiting for my husband to come home on this Sunday nite.  Our most wondrous son, Majid, is fast asleep but I’m sure he is playing with Baba (Daddy in Arabic) and laughing in his dreams.

I wanted to write about my sweet, kind-hearted, diligent husband because, in general, babas do not get enuf appreciation, and in particular, because Majid’s Baba is truly an exceptional Baba.  Most of what we mamas of color have to do and have experienced involves our husbands, no?  So it seems fitting that we talk about them.  I never felt comfortable with European/white feminism that polarized men and women, making the sexes so oppositional and contentious.  It seemed that many of such feminist writings seemed to say that in order for women to be empowered, they have to trample on men.  This always seemed inaccurate and detrimental to me, especially b/c my Abba (Daddy in Corean) helped me be the strong woman that I am.  This is part of the reason, of course, that womanism developed b/c feminists of color wanted to be much more family and community centered.  Ummm, anyhow…

When I was pregnant, we decided that I should stay home and raise our baby.  In present day, this means that we live on his income alone so my husband works 50 + hours a week.  And, he decided to get a job that starts early enuf so that after working 16 hours, he can still have a little bit of time with us at home.  Oh, and he goes to school and aces his midterms.  This is the reality of many working class families, right?  We made this sacrifice b/c we decided that it was best for our son to be at home and not go to daycare.  But it really shouldn’t be this arduous to raise your own babies – something’s not right here!  I know for many, it’s not even an option to live on one income.  We can only do it b/c we had simple lives before the baby, and oh yeah, our rent is a little over $600 (yay for rent control!).

But it is difficult to not have my husband around so much.  Especially when Majid asks for his Baba throughout the day.  Those two are so attached, so much in adoration of each other.  Sometimes it seems that Majid can read his Baba’s mind b/c he does things that my husband is sure to like.  This afternoon, I watched my husband watch my son.  What a sight!  I knew that my husband would be a wonderul daddy but I never knew he’d be this great.

As I am finishing this post, I miss my husband look forward to winter break when he’ll be home a little more.

To all the Babas who work their asses off to support their family – PROPS!!!  To all the mamas who hold it together at home – props to you too!  And to all the babies who patiently wait for their sweet daddies to come home – props to you also!

Anti-mama

At the end of the semester last May, I went to a dinner party one of my professors hosted for students in his graduate seminar.  After a few drinks, the academic stiffness began to wear and people loosened up.  In one corner of the house, somewhere between lasagna and the brownies, my fellow classmate began to talk about how she was starting to become “anti-mom.”  Some giggled at her thinking she was messing around but she was dead serious.  She explained that she was sick of moms in Albany pushing these big fat strollers into cafes taking up space and acting very “goddess-like” because of their motherhood.  She turned to me and said quickly, “no offense…I’m not talking about you”.  I realized she wasn’t directing her anger at me but I was still uneasy in that moment (and I’ll get to why later).  Her comment somehow opened the anti-mom floodgate and a barrage of complaints against mamas in territories zoned for singles or adults only commenced.  Before I had time to process it all, the conversation had quickly shifted.

Yesterday, I was walking down the sidewalk on Piedmont Ave. with Mario and was blocked by two white mamas with big expensive trendy strollers.  They had stopped in the middle of sidewalk with lattes in hand, and barely moved out of the way, not even recognizing that I too had a baby and needed some space to maneuver, even after clearing my throat and said “excuse me.”  They were unapologetic about the way they occupied public space and I think part of that attitude might have been amplified because they had their babies with them.  I think the way they took up the sidewalk might also be the way they normally assume they have privilege over certain spaces but having a baby with them gave them more of an excuse to be less accommodating.  I realized where my classmate was going with her anti-mom rant. I was uncomfortable with the rant because of the way she used the term “mother” to lump all mamas together.  We’re such a diverse group but somehow “mom” was immediately attached to a particular class and race of women who move through the world with non-reflexive privilege.

Now regarding the spaces that babies can occupy, I have found that some places are way less tolerant of babies, mamas, and tots.  One of our colorfulmamas group members gave us a review of her trip to Korea and found it much more family friendly than the US.  My friend went to the baby brigade movie night in El Cerrito and was actually hushed when her baby cried! I think there is a lot of education that needs to happen on that end, especially in the bay area where it can sometimes seem like there are more dog advocates than family advocates.